Online Hook-Ups... And Break-Ups

"I don't seem to know what my end-game is. I certainly won't be in a physical relationship with any one of these people. They won't be sending me nude pictures and sexy texts..." How wrong I was. For all my lying, the sexy chats and pictures began with one of my online friends. I'm either too good at deceiving now, or maybe I really am desirable. Probably the former. But started it did. Innocent little teasing texts at first. Then the nude pictures and erotic messages.

But like a famous line from a movie I love so dear, I'm like a dog chasing cars. Even if I caught one I wouldn't know what to do with it. And so it was here. All my lying had once again resulted in a trusting girl sharing herself with me. Me. If it can even be called that. Some sick perversion of me. Vikki had done it and now again. Every sultry message like the embodiment of my lies before me.

Just three days after my first sexual encounter with this woman, I decided to end it. I'm just not that kind of guy. I like the mystery, the courtship. I want to date a girl. I'm not even that interested in sex! Every time we finished one of our sessions, I came away feeling dirty. Like scum. And knowing the only way I was in this situation was through lying, it made it even worse. I know it's cliche, but it really was me and not her. I know she wanted more. I knew I could never have it. To be so cruel, she wasn't even my type. I guess I'm just a jerk.