The First Mask Comes Off

Now, I don't know how many people cry for a week before they break up, but you can definitely add my name down as one. With many a sad Johnny Cash song and several tissue boxes behind me, I faced my demise last night and told Vikki the truth. I knew what to expect; rejection, disbelief and a lonely path ahead of me. The problem was I that I'm a dick and don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

So I just told her. There was silence at first and then Vikki said something which threw me. She said she didn't care. She explained that she'd been in a similar situation and that she knew there was more important things than physical being. I couldn't have been more wrong about her reaction. In fact, it only improved things between us. And most of all, it sent one of my masks crashing to the floor.

If one person can accept me for who I am, why can't the rest? Why should I care if the rest like me or not? If one person loves me, then that's enough for me. I've been putting this age mask over my face all my life and now it's finally been lifted and I'm liking what I see.

And with her simple acceptance of who I really am, Vikki has done me more good than she will ever know. I'm hoping to come out of the age closet soon, as I realize that all that hard work to hide who I really am just isn't worth it and it deprives others of seeing the real me. I'm not only cheating them, but myself too. Maybe it will set off a chain reaction in my life. I hope so.

For now, I am enjoying my new-found truth, honesty and acceptance. For the first time, I really don't give a shit about what others think of me. I guess all it took was a little bit of faith from someone else to help me along. And for that, I'm forever thankful.