Love/Hate

These past few days have been strange for me. Every day I go through at least one cycle of loving and then hating Vikki, or vice versa. This is why I've barred myself from sending her messages - the one in the morning will sing her praises and profess how I love her. The one in the afternoon says she's mucking me around and that I wish I'd never met her. If I make it to midnight, I'll usually send an apology saying how much I love her again. I don't know what to make of it.

I haven't checked my email in nearly 4 days now, a short time to some, but an agonizingly long period for me. I know that if I succumb to my inner voice and check them, I'll only be disappointed to see that she has not sent me anything. However, the little ounce of annoying hope inside me screams to check my emails because she's probably sent me something. What an optimist.

I really am trying to forget her but everything around me is remind me so much of her. Anything Australian or to do with unicorns or anything we shared together just drives me crazy. And to top it all off, I met an Australian girl yesterday who looked exactly like Vikki and loved photography and, believe it or not, was named Nikki. It's as if they're taunting me, whoever is in charge of this life of mine. It doesn't help that I'm sick and must dwell indoors with only my thoughts to accompany me.